Who do you trust the most? Who are your trusted few?

Maybe they are the ones who see unfiltered you. Maybe you pick up the phone to talk to them first because you know no matter what you say- it is safe with them and they won’t judge you.

How do you determine if you can trust them? Is it because they have proven before that they are safe? They have caught you in a vulnerable moment and responded well? You’ve seen how they interact with others? Think about that for a minute: how did your safe people, the people you deeply trust, become trustworthy to you?

It’s incredible how fragile trust is. After a while of trusting someone, it’s probably rare that you would ever find yourself worrying about that person with your thoughts- until something happens that shakes you, and that trust is seriously damaged. Even if it’s an accident- sometimes that trust is hard to fully build back up.

When your body is broken, you rely a lot on a doctor. This can be very scary because there is no time to decide whether or not they are trustworthy- grabbing coffee and listening to their track record on trust or starting with seeing how they handle the little things you say isn’t really a possibility. You jump. You get vulnerable. You see how they respond. You pray it’s well. And if it’s not- you decide if it’s worth staying or if you have to find another doctor in your area that specializes in your rare disease….if there is one. Sometimes, there’s no real choice.

I have had a couple doctors I didn’t trust. I have had some doctors who I trusted to do their job but would leave it at that (their bed side manner wasn’t the best). I had one that I thought I could trust, but couldn’t. And a few who I really trusted. Blessed am I, that I am currently with one I trust more deeply than any doctor I have ever had: and he specializes in the disease my body fights every day. Praise. The. Lord.

I don’t take this for granted. I know that many people don’t fully trust their doctors, but need to stay with them. I am so thankful that while doing a treatment that is rather intense; one where I’m very out of it and under the care of medical staff- that I can rest assured that my doctor is the one in charge- the one who is calling the shots, making sure everyone’s doing their job, and that we are pursuing the goal. I can rest because he’s in charge. I can rest because I trust him.

Trust is a huge part of dancing. There is safety in dancing alone- you are in control. But there is beauty in dancing with someone else- and when you trust them- my word is it even more beautiful. When there is trust, you’re not worried about them dropping you, how they lead, or what their next move is. And not only is it beautiful to be a part of –it’s also beautiful to watch. Have you ever watched a dance between a couple- whether the relationship is personal or professional, where there is trust? You can tell because it’s smoother- and far less awkward. Having trust in your partner, loosens the grasp of control because you know you can trust the other person to lead.

Dancing with the Lord pushes me to loosen my grasp of control and put my trust in Him to lead. Trust and faith are commonly used interchangeably – but I see a difference: faith is something you have- a confident belief. “I have faith that God can heal me.” “I’m praying my faith becomes like Abbie’s and that I can have faith that God will heal me.” Trust is something I do. I place my trust in the Lord. I can trust that He has my best interest in mind. For me, having faith in Him is why I can trust Him.

Today, we can read story after story in the Bible of men and women of faith. We can read stories of people trusting the Lord, and accounts of why He is trustworthy. We have examples. And to make it even more personal than that? We can see story after story of other people in our lives who have done the same with the Lord and the Lord has been so faithful. I’m thankful to be in a church where we share stories of what the Lord is doing in our lives, naturally. And I’m excited for my home-church that is putting an emphasis on “Jesus stories”- stories to share with one another of how Jesus showed up in their lives or in something they witnessed. Sharing stories like these help us see what a good, trustworthy, faithful God we have. Stories like these help us (or at least, help me) loosen the grasp of control and lean in more while dancing with the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5-6 are two verses that I memorized early on. Ones that as a child I could recite and understand. But it seems to bear more and more weight when harder trials come my way:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Trust in the Lord all my heart. Not: “trust in the Lord with a piece of your heart and wait to see if he’s trustworthy.” Not: “trust in the Lord as long as you’re comfortable, and lean not on your own understanding- unless it seems He’s really not doing it your way…. then go ahead and lean on your own again.”

No.

When I read this passage now, it comes with a little pep talk:

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.” Even when it’s scary.
“Lean not on your own understanding.” Release control. You’re okay.
“In all your ways submit to him,” He’s leading this dance, not you. When you’re scared just lean in closer to Him.
“and he will make your paths straight.” And He will guide you through this…and never leave you.

No matter how bad pain gets- I can trust the Lord. Even when I don’t understand- I can trust the Lord. For He is good, even when I’m not. He never breaks His promises, even when I do. And He never leaves me, even when I can’t find words to speak to Him.

What grace. What love. That He would still pursue me. That He would never give up on me. That He would still dance with me.

 

 

Lord, may I rest, knowing you are in charge.